Perpetually Peeved

That orange vest does wonders for your ego…

There she is again…  the crossing guard, having safely escorted the middle school students across the street, blowing her whistle and waving her arm so emphatically she puts the Jersey Shore kids to shame. Either this woman had a quadruple shot for breakfast or she takes her job way too seriously.  She does this every morning.  I don’t exactly know why this irks me.  After all, she is just doing her job.  That’s the thing though… her job is getting the kids safely across the street.  Once that’s done, I can figure out that if  a person isn’t standing in front of me with a stop sign that I can resume my 20-mile-an-hour crawl past the school.   Maybe it’s the fact that 10 yards down the road from the fist-pumping crossing guard is a cop car with Officer Serious pointing a radar gun at the oncoming cars.  Really?  A radar gun?  

I mean, can we get a little perspective here?  And, when you find it, can you please tell the douchebag cops at the airport that it’s not a matter of national security to let me sit at the curb for 2 minutes while I wait for my arriving passengers?  They’re like parking Nazis.  If your foot even hovers over the brake pedal they are tapping on your window yelling, “you gotta move, you can’t park here.”   I mean, why?  What’s going to happen if I stop to pick up passengers in an area designated for stopping and picking up passengers?  It’s not like I’m gonna have a fricking picnic in my car.

For the love of Pete people, did you miss the memo?  Do the least amount possible to get the paycheck.  Anything else and all you wind up doing is giving yourself (and the neurotics like me around you) high blood pressure.


3 Comments so far
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Just the title today made me start laughing! Damn funny.

Comment by livingdilbert

Thanks LD. 🙂 Your post today about double Mondays was funny too. Although just the thought of more than one Monday makes me break out in hives.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

This woman is almost as powerful as all the super heroes in the Justice League of America. She puts on that orange vest and brings thousands of cars to a screeching halt each day.
Now that you have put the poor woman on the net, I am sure the President has directed the Pentagon or the CIA to forcefully employ this poor lady like quick! God knows what they will force her to do. And if you keep going 20 mph instead of 15 mph in a school zone, plan on dealing with her. Wouldn’t wanna be in your shoes.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

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