Filed under: General Peevery, Parenting | Tags: annoying, cursing, drive me up the wall, euphemisms, grating, mother, nervous breakdown, parenthood, peeve, pet peeves, sarcastic, vent
When you become a parent, one of the most irritating adjustments you have to make is to not curse in front of the children. It completely sucks, but you become used to it and find yourself getting really annoyed with people that can’t manage to keep their mouth clean in front of the kids. I mean, the occasional slip, fine. No, honey – mommy said “truck.” But, if I just told you two seconds ago that I don’t want my two-year-old to tell all her daycare buddies about the cool “shit” she did last weekend, then you should be able to get a grip and curb the cussing. In other words, watchyerfuckinlanguage.
Some moms insist on coming up with euphemisms for curse words. To me, this is the equivalent of drinking decaf coffee. What’s the point? What really drives me batty is when the kids aren’t around and the mom still uses the euphemism. If you’re at work and your computer freaks out and deletes everything you just worked on for 3 hours are you really satisfied when you yell, “Oh FUDGE!?” Do you know who you sound like when you drop something and say, “oh, poop” or “cheese and crackers?” The people you used to make fun of back when you were cool, that’s who.
My old carpool buddy and I used to wait until the moment the tires left the pavement of the daycare driveway – then, it was on. We would unleash a torrent of filth so fabulous it would put Clark Griswold to shame. We devised our own despicable language (pig latin is for wusses) that involved dropping f bombs in the middle of every other word. Someone cut us off? Absofuckinglutely unfuckingbelievable! And that, bitches, is how it’s done.
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