Filed under: Consumer / Retail | Tags: annoying, bagels, cream cheese, customer service, drive me up the wall, Einstein Brothers, food, grating, JUST SPREAD THE MFing CREAM CHEESE ON THE BAGEL ALREADY!, nervous breakdown, peeve, pet peeves, sarcastic, shmear, vent
Dear Einstein Brothers Bagels Corporate Office:
I am writing you today with a serious concern. I am a regular patron of your fine establishment at XXX in XXX and firmly believe that your bagels are the best to be had outside of the state of New York. However, I am deeply disturbed by the lack of attention to a very important matter concerning the distribution of cream cheese. I regularly get a bagel to-go and eat in the car en route to my destination. I have, on many occasion, almost gotten into serious automobile accidents because I was trying to use one half of my bagel to get the cream cheese out of the hole your workers scooped it in and spread it evenly onto my bagel – THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. Now, I was willing to forgive you calling the cream cheese something that sounds like what I have done at the OBGYN’s office. But, if you are not going to actually shmear the “shmear” than you need to clear up the misnomer – perhaps you could call it “scoop.”
Dear Perpetually Peeved,
I am sorry for your inconvenience. We use scoops at our XXX in XXX location to ensure portion control. I have brought this matter to the Manager’s attention. If you prefer your cream cheese to be spread evenly on your bagel, please feel free to ask at the counter when placing your order.
Einstein Brothers Bagels
FIRST — Okay, yeah, right. I’m going to ASK after you told them I wrote this letter. Oh, look, it’s the shmear lady – let’s put a little something extra in hers.
SECOND — WTF? That’s the best you could come up with? For the love of Pete – LIE TO ME!!! Tell me you are going to fix it. Throw in a coupon. What ever happened to customer service!?
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