Perpetually Peeved


Does this come with a breathalyzer?

Yum, yum, yum...

Okay, when I started this blog, I told you even I annoy myself.  Guess what?  I did it again this weekend.  There are few things worse than waking up with a margarita hangover.  One of those things, however, would have to be waking up with a margarita hangover and some new “art” that you purchased.  Beer goggles, indeed.

Why do I do this?  I drink and then feel the compulsion to shop for random things I do not need.  I went on a wine tour in California and we came upon this market.  At this market they sold the most “amazing” wide-brimmed hats that you could fold like origami and stick in your pocket.  When you took it out, it would regain its shape with no wrinkles.  Now, before you say, “Oh, that’s not bad” – my head is the size of a chestnut.  Seriously, I have a really small head.  I have to buy my glasses in the kids section.  I don’t do hats.  In addition to the hangover and fabulous new hat, I woke up the next morning with a camera full of photos of me with the ridiculous hat and some ridiculous sunglasses (I must have gotten a deal).  Nice friends, huh?

I’ve also gotten a pink purse (baby pink, not even something that could pass as funky) and, in Italy, the hat caper struck again.  This time I opted for a straw re-creation of Angelina Jolie’s hat in the changeling.  Yes, straw.  Yes, brim wider on one side than the other.  Yes, I have plenty of pictures.

Just like Angie, no?

On Saturday, I went to the art festival that they were having in town.  I volunteered in the morning with Biggie and Smalls and then we walked around a bit.  Naturally, I needed a beer or two to go with my corndog.  So, I was feeling good when I stumbled upon the modern Asian art booth and fell in love with this multi-media masterpiece.  And, by multi-media masterpiece I mean a granite slab painted black, covered with glitter, with two white cartoon stenciled piggies on it and enough shalack to give Crystal Gale a mohawk.  Really, though, it’s cute.  I don’t have a picture with me, but I’ll post the link to it on Craigslist once I do.

My debit card is expiring next month.  I think I’ll ask them if I can get the kind that comes with a breathalyzer attached.  Seriously.

In the spirit of Memorial Day, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to the men and women that serve our country and their families.  Without them, I would not have the freedom to peeve, the option to go hatless, or the right to make alcoholic cupcakes.

Margarita cupcake - Thanks for the recipe Thoughts Appear!

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9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Nice statement of freedom, well crafted…

Comment by davehambo

How about getting hammered and waking up at 11:00 AM the next day in Miami’s August 98 degree heat only to find that last night you bought 10 pounds of shrimp and it’s stashed under the front seat! Drove around like Captain Ahab for months.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

Style!

Comment by davehambo

Agreed.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

This is hilarious! I LOL’d and the tards in The Orifice looked at me like I was weird. Must laugh much eh?

Comment by The Orifice

Is tard an official title there at the Orifice? I’m glad to see you are back (and still in business) over there. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Your cupcakes look awesome! I’m glad you tried out the recipe =)

Comment by thoughtsappear

They tasted pretty awesome too. I was very proud of myself, although the kids had to wear earmuffs for half the day. Recipes (actually cooking in general) and me don’t play nice together.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

[…] Speaking of benders, the fines will double if you post and tag a picture of me out drinking.  You never know if I had a “doctor’s appointment” conveniently scheduled for the next morning.  Also, chances are if I’m drinking, I’m also wearing some form of embarrassing attire. […]

Pingback by Bite me, please « Perpetually Peeved




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