Bloodsucking Secret Scientologists are Eating your Brains

Bloodsucking Secret Scientologists are Eating your Brains

June 3, 2010, 9:53 am
Filed under: General Peevery, Media | Tags: annoying, bad boss, bloodsucking, drive me up the wall, eclipse, Edward Cullen, emmy, fox & Friends, freshly pressed, grating, hot topic, Jacob Black, kool-aid, mebuilding, mother of the year, nervous breakdown, peeve, pet peeves, pulitzer, rob pattinson, sarcastic, scientology, Stephenie Meyer, taylor lautner, team edward, team jacob, the secret, the short second life of bree tanner, twighlight, twilight, vampires, vent, wordpress

I was going to write on a completely different topic today, but I was waiting for the coffee to brew and decided to check my mail first.  Here is what I found:

And, there I was off in the middle of a tizzy, running to go get the coffee.

I could have been in a fit because of it’s Twilight-related.  However, I gave up on that a long time ago.  The Twi-hards are mostly young impressionable girls and – let’s face it – Rob and Taylor are kind of hot (in a jailbait sort of way).  Biggie is totally Team Edward and I’m resigned to it.  I even waited outside of Hot Topic for 3 hours at the butt crack of dawn to get Biggie tickets to meet some of the lesser-known cast members. Mother of the Year award is hanging in my office.  Thank you.

What threw me into a tizzy is a culmination of Fox & Friends, the mebuilding douche, a couple of Bad Bosses I know, and the Borders email.  Who are these people?  Where do they come from?  How do they get to be successful?  They aren’t anything special…  no Emmys or Pulitzers in their future that’s for certain.  So, how do these people with mediocre talent – at best – find themselves in positions of influence?  I’m convinced it must be Scientology or the Secret.

What’s the Secret?  I’m afraid to look at the website or the book too long, but I think it is the power of positive thinking.  Making things happen in your life through thought.  Well, I’m sorry, no matter how much Stephenie Meyer tells herself she can write – it ain’t working.  I understand that she’s supposed to be writing for young adults, but I read everything Biggie does and this, folks, is drivel in comparison to almost all of it.

Yet, some poor shmucks are going to have to go to work at 11:30 at night and deal with three-hour lines of drooling teenagers so that she can make millions more.

This happens in real life too…  we’ve all had that boss.  You know, the one where you ask yourself at least two times a day, “How the hell did that dumbass get that job?”  He’s the one that steals your ideas, takes credit for your work, can’t figure his way out of paper bag but is charged with running a department.  How did he get that job?  He told himself he deserved it.  Then he told the hiring agent he deserved it.  Could it really be that simple?

The mebuilding guy is 30.  He’s lamenting on Twitter that he’s older than the Discovery Channel… yet, he thinks blogging about his path to change is going to empower people and affect “millions” of people’s lives. And, apparently WordPress seems to want to help him.  Can I get some of that Kool-Aid? Of all the fabulous writing and content on this blogging network, that’s what gets featured?

I feel seriously depressed and repressed.  I’m going to do a search for my local scientology center.  I’m going to start telling myself how great I am.  Maybe then I’ll get a promotion, a freshly pressed tag, a book deal and an appearance on Fox & Friends.  Geez, I feel dumber already.

P.S.   Stephenie – your momma spelled your name wrong!

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