Perpetually Peeved

Bloodsucking Secret Scientologists are Eating your Brains

I was going to write on a completely different topic today, but I was waiting for the coffee to brew and decided to check my mail first.  Here is what I found:

And, there I was off in the middle of a tizzy, running to go get the coffee.

I could have been in a fit because of it’s Twilight-related.  However, I gave up on that a long time ago.  The Twi-hards are mostly young impressionable girls and – let’s face it – Rob and Taylor are kind of hot (in a jailbait sort of way).  Biggie is totally Team Edward and I’m resigned to it.  I even waited outside of Hot Topic for 3 hours at the butt crack of dawn to get Biggie tickets to meet some of the lesser-known cast members. Mother of the Year award is hanging in my office.  Thank you.

What threw me into a tizzy is a culmination of Fox & Friends, the mebuilding douche, a couple of Bad Bosses I know, and the Borders email.  Who are these people?  Where do they come from?  How do they get to be successful?  They aren’t anything special…  no Emmys or Pulitzers in their future that’s for certain.  So, how do these people with mediocre talent – at best – find themselves in positions of influence?  I’m convinced it must be Scientology or the Secret.

What’s the Secret?  I’m afraid to look at the website or the book too long, but I think it is the power of positive thinking.  Making things happen in your life through thought.  Well, I’m sorry, no matter how much Stephenie Meyer tells herself she can write – it ain’t working.  I understand that she’s supposed to be writing for young adults, but I read everything Biggie does and this, folks, is drivel in comparison to almost all of it.

Yet, some poor shmucks are going to have to go to work at 11:30 at night and deal with three-hour lines of drooling teenagers so that she can make millions more.

This happens in real life too…  we’ve all had that boss.  You know, the one where you ask yourself at least two times a day, “How the hell did that dumbass get that job?”  He’s the one that steals your ideas, takes credit for your work, can’t figure his way out of paper bag but is charged with running a department.  How did he get that job?  He told himself he deserved it.  Then he told the hiring agent he deserved it.  Could it really be that simple?

The mebuilding guy is 30.  He’s lamenting on Twitter that he’s older than the Discovery Channel… yet, he thinks blogging about his path to change is going to empower people and affect “millions” of people’s lives. And, apparently WordPress seems to want to help him.  Can I get some of that Kool-Aid? Of all the fabulous writing and content on this blogging network, that’s what gets featured?

I feel seriously depressed and repressed.  I’m going to do a search for my local scientology center.  I’m going to start telling myself how great I am.  Maybe then I’ll get a promotion, a freshly pressed tag, a book deal and an appearance on Fox & Friends.  Geez, I feel dumber already.

P.S.   Stephenie – your momma spelled your name wrong!

16 Comments so far
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Urgh, I am still recovering from the success of “Pants On The Ground”. If I had happened to be Fergie I would have been exiled, left homeless and de-duchessed. Oooh no but not that red headed sloan, she gets plumped up in front of Oprah and offered kinds words and a cup of tea!

Comment by frigginloon

Getting de-duchessed sounds like it might be fun… 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

That brain eater, is that a hybrid between a vampire and a discoball ?

Comment by Gruff Guano

Yes, because intelligence-impaired individuals are attracted to shiny things.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

🙂 That must be the reason why I completely covered my pc and desk with decorative shiny beads and reflecting buttons.

Comment by Gruff Guano

I have not understood more than 15% of this post, I am an old, boring, english fart!

Comment by davehambo

Oh, FFS Dave, don’t you mean a OBEF!? Be glad you have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ll switch back to some more universal peeves for you tomorrow. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Save some of the Kool-Aid for me.

Comment by izziedarling

You got it. Are you a vodka or gin type of girl? ‘Cause something tells me we’re going to need a little help on the positive-thinking front. 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Society seems to reward the vapid. You actually think and use words coherently. That’s scary like fire to a caveman.
You so need to go troll that mebuilding guys blog!

Comment by Amy

here’s your answer:
There can be no other reason.

Comment by katie o.

OMG – and I mean, OH MY GENIUS! This truly makes me feel better as it is a very sound argument. Thank you! And, now I finally know who Pete is (of “For the love of Pete!” fame) – genius.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

You should get a shirt that says, “I don’t get enough shit, please dump on me.” People are like animals, they shit where other people shit. If they think no one’s been shitting on you, then they won’t shit on you either. That’s why some days can be really shitty, because someone will come in early and see you there and think they can dump some shit on you because no one else is around to dump it on. And once that starts, everyone else will see that you’ve been shit on and then BOOM – you’re the public shitting post.

This is why it never pays to come in early.

Comment by writerdood

Dood – you need to get that on Cafe Press. For real.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

GIN, but I will drink Vodka if necessary 🙂

Comment by izziedarling

Yeah and next we’ll be debating oil spills! 🙂

Comment by Watch Southpark

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