Perpetually Peeved

Bumper Stumpers Revisited

Remember that cheesy game show Bumper Stumpers?  Well, I freaking sucked at it.  Majorly.  So besides the fact that vanity plates are a telltale sign of douchery, I also hate them because they make me feel stupid.  I don’t get it.  Isn’t the point of a vanity plate to say something about yourself?  I mean, after all, it’s not like you’re driving behind yourself reading it.  It’s like getting a tattoo on your back – it’s not for your own enjoyment. 

Ever since I started carrying my camera in my car console, I’ve seen a million of these.  I’ve figured out maybe 2 (and those weren’t very hard).  Here are some of the one’s I’ve seen – can you help alleviate my peeve and let me know what YOU think these mean? 

This is one I figured out. But, admittedly, not before trying to remember whether loride was an element on the periodic table. (PS - this guy gets a double douche for non-vintage vette and vanity plate)

I'm still vacillating between Totally Tedious Douche and an advert for a new strain of venereal disease.

Really, you had to get a vanity plate for this? Surely, I'm missing a double entendre here...

You are a 12-month-old and someone just asked you if you need anything from the store? This one REALLY boggles me. I'm losing sleep over it.

Dick-Wad, Re-Waddable???

Sorry, the vanity plate name you have selected is already in use. We suggest: SEK1.

Either you really can't spell, or you just came up with a brilliant alternative to FUCKIT.

Oh - Oh - I get it! You're like Michelle Obama with a stutter.

Okay, I know it's not a vanity plate, but WTF? Has Shrek become a spokesperson for AT&T, moved to Georgia and purchased a used truck? I'm afraid to Google it.

Okay, readers (all 2 of you), break out your Secret Society Decoder pins.  I expect your insights here!

6 Comments so far
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Fortunately, such bastardisations of the language are rather limited here in Britain, but enough for one to get the idea. SO,
#1 lowrider for sportycar (ass near ground?)
#3 BCL ARK, buckle ark, Mr Buckles armaggedon truck?
#4 1T1ZAME, “it is’a me”
#5 DWRW, only two automatic gears, drive/reverse
#6 SEK1, an ophthalmogist “sick eye”
#7 BLESSIT, god gave the dosh for it.
#8 1LADYDY, (i rather fear this is) ONE LADY DI as in Dianna Spencer, our departed princess.
#9 phone-ogre; urban dictionary gives “The beast that is the real reason for accidents involving a phone. When the driver of a car is talking on a cell phone the Cell Phone Ogre grabs the car and throws it into another car. Normally masks his appearance in the form of an individual or higher power stopping people from using a phone while driving.” You asked!

great selection BTW, do the other drivers think you are a cop?

Comment by davehambo

Thank you Dave, that certainly helps. I have a great zoom lens on my camera and, really, most Americans don’t pay much attention to what’s going on around them. They are too self-involved. 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Phone ogre – did someone give him that nick name or did he self assign it?

Oh, and really classy with the obscure confederate flag sticker.

Comment by omawarisan

I think the 1T1Z4ME guy is bragging about his formerly-high-speed T1 Internet connection. Dude, give it up, cable is faster than that now.

Comment by Dennis the Vizsla

I like your post. Your blog is fantastic.

Comment by sex

This showed up in my spam filter. So don’t click the link. I had to approve because, I mean, SEX likes me. Shit, I’m flattered! I like you too SEX!

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

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