Perpetually Peeved

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye

This weekend was good.  It was good because it included a date night.  Any time my husband and I are lucky enough to get a date night, we book a room at the Embassy Suites.  They have free drinks from 5:30 – 7:30 every night, the most comfortable beds known to man, and a kick-butt breakfast buffet that is included in the (very reasonable) price of the room.  If I ever win the lotto, I’m not buying a bunch of houses around the country, I’ll just travel from Embassy Suites to Embassy Suites.  

This weekend’s date night was extra-fun because we celebrated a good friend’s 30th birthday with a private karaoke room.  Yes, they have those and yes, they are as fun as they sound.  You can imagine what my head felt like on Sunday when taking the glass elevator down to the bacon buffet.  Maybe it was all that throbbing, but I think what happened next would have annoyed me in any case.  As I’m walking through the atrium, there is a baby – not even a year old – with a fork in one hand and a knife in the other beating the crap out of the porcelain plate in front of him.  Okay, A) why the hell are you letting a baby fling around two potentially dangerous utensils?  All I could think was, “it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”  And, B) has it occurred to you that some people are trying to have a nice, calm breakfast and letting your kid tap out Back in Black in an atrium where – duh – sound carries is not the most considerate thing you could do?  

Fine.  Obviously this woman has not had the pleasure of a break (i.e. going anywhere without her child) and does not understand that when you don’t have your own kids with you, other people’s become increasingly annoying. 

So, I sit down and eat my breakfast (on the other side of the atrium) and begin to people watch.  I notice this couple with a child about Smalls’ age following them.  I notice them because they don’t look old enough to be grandparents, but they don’t look young enough to be parents of this 4-year-old.  As I’m concocting the story of their life in my head, I realize they are getting on the elevator and the 4-year-old has stopped at the coffee bar.  Oh no.  Hello?  People?  Are you not watching your child?  The child goes up on her tip toes and takes down a glass jar filled to the brim with coffee stirrers.  Glass jar, 4-year-old, no parental supervision.  Following me here?  

I didn't take a picture, so I snagged this one from:

Okay, now here’s the part that peeves me.  The little rascal who has absconded with coffee stirrers then proceeds to lift the container to her mouth and LICK the top of all the stirrers.  Like it were a giant ice cream cone.  At which point, a woman (who was clear across the atrium) comes over and says, “Rascal!, what are you doing? You need to stay near Mommy!”  The mother takes the glass of stirrers out of Rascal’s hand and puts it back up on the coffee bar.  No one else seems to notice this but me.  

I will never use a coffee stirrer again.  Thank you very little. 

Maybe it was something in the air.  On the way home later that day I pulled up to a stop sign at a fairly busy four-way intersection.  On the southeast corner of this intersection some candidate for Mother of the Year decided she would set up this: 

Buy yours at Wal-Mart

 “Here kids – just don’t slide into traffic!”  Oh, and nevermind that this is the corner where the neighbors all walk their dogs.  That’s just mud from the water.

14 Comments so far
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I’m sure the hangover merely accentuated your critical eye and disinhibited your creative critique… some parents are turds IMHO!

Comment by davehambo

Yes, some parents are turds, some parents let their children play in turds.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I don’t know if the kid pictures I’ve seen showing three and four years olds shooting guns at a family outing is from the NRA supporting the sportsman’s way of life or from the anti gun lobbyists showing the absolute insanity of this behavior. How can parents put such potentially murderous devices in the hands of innocents? That’s my peeve in that area. I’ve had 11th graders in my classes from Central America that fought in rebel armies there with AK-47s when they were 8,9,and 10 years old. While she was First Lady I heard Hilliary Clinton suggest mandatory parenting classes for high school teens or arrestees of that age or words to that effect and thought she was a communist. Maybe she was right.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

These must be the same kids I see at the God Hates Fags protests. I don’t get it. I don’t know that high school education will fix it. Don’t we still allow kids to drop out?

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

You know, I tried to set one of those massive slides up in my backyard (when I had a big backyard) and it killed my grass big time. For a year after that, there was nothing there but a dead circle of stinking mulch. It was horrible. Oh, but the kids did have fun, until the thing started leaking and I had to take it back. What to get them to replace it, I wondered? Now, I know I probably should have just bought them handguns or explosives, but I didn’t want them to shoot the neighbors or blow up the house, so I went with water balloons and a new sprinkler instead. What a horrible American I am. On the upside, they’ll be great at lobbing grenades once they’re old enough to join the military!

Comment by writerdood

Did you at least get them the water balloon super-launcher?

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Blahahaha fellow people watcher. I was doing the same at a public pool and watched some kid lick the tops of the salt shakers at the food area. Then amused myself several minutes later when people proceeded to sprinkle the salt on their chips. Maybe if I wasn’t such an introvert (and bitch) I would have warned them 😦

Comment by frigginloon

Oh, did I give the impression I did anything but leave the newly-lubricated stirrers on the counter? Guess you could say I’m a fellow introvert (& bitch) as well.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

It’s always amazing to me to watch bad parents with their kids. But they are usually found in Wal Mart, some fast food hell or some other frequent of the window licking, mouth breathing general public, not at the Embassy Suites.

Comment by Scott Oglesby

sounds like you had a wonderful adventure until you got to the “BACON” bar…love it.. I also am addicted to crisp bacon.
As for the kid.. why did we not go ahead with sanctioned enforced sterilization for some adults? Really…

Comment by Laura

“Thank you very little” – Love! Bad parents – DISLIKE very much. The slide … we had one at our house in college (drunk). I took my turn to show off in front of the student shuttle bus and ended up topless. Not a good look. My friend took his turn with too much enthusiasm, slid clear off the slide and halfway across the street. Major road rash.

Comment by izziedarling

Sounds like you’d get along with the guy that sent me the spam mail in today’s post. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

[…] Don’t steal…it’s a peeve of mine This work by Perpetually Peeved is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at For the price of a cup of coffee June 23, 2010, 10:52 am Filed under: Consumer / Retail,General Peevery | Tags: annoying, bitter coffee, coffee, drive me up the wall, drive thru coffee shop, dunkin donuts, elin nordegren, for the price of a cup of coffee, frappe, grating, have it your way, macchiato, make it your damn self, mcdonalds, nervous breakdown, peeve, pet peeves, sally struthers, san francisco coffee, sarcastic, starbucks, starsucks, vent, wake up wednesday, who carries cash Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.  Why?  Because it is “Wake Up Wednesday” at Smalls’ daycare.  Which means, there is freshly brewed coffee, (with real creamer!) set out for the parents – FOR FREE.  Isn’t that a nice, lovely gesture?  They even have the insulated cups with the hot bands and the lids.  And, stirrers, which may or may not have been taste-tested and kid-approved. […]

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RE : Allowing kids to drop out high school. In Florida (Miami Dade County) under my suggestion a few years back, we withdraw kids at 16 with repeated grade retention and all F’s and D’s and poor attendance so they are not part of the testing pool upon which a school gets rated. They score a 7 or a 12 on a test of 300 questions (two days). If 70% of kids make between 60% – 95%, their scores factored in give the school a 40% rating. I am ashamed at my and the system’s hypocrisy here but what can we do to avoid blaming it on the teachers and calling us an “F” school which is not the case? But in Florida you can also drop out at 16 without parental consent, but you have to stay in school till 18 to keep driver license. So they enroll in adult/night school as proof and never attend and re-enroll every 3 months to keep license and still never attend. It is a situation where we create a whole generation of unemployable young people, but if they refuse to participate in their own education, who’s to blame? I have nothing funny to say here which is not how I comment usually.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

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