Filed under: General Peevery, Grammar and Spelling | Tags: annoying, beyotch, drive me up the wall, grammar, grating, nervous breakdown, over-used phrases, peeve, pet peeves, sarcastic, vent
Biggie: Mommy, Granny called you the “B” word.
Peeved: What? When?
Biggie: Before, when she took me to the store. She called you the “B” word.
Peeved: Well, that’s nice.
Biggie: No, not THAT “B” word, the other “B” word.
Peeved: What are you talking about?
Biggie: I can’t say it, it’s a bad word.
Peeved: Oh, just say it. You won’t get in trouble, promise. You get a free pass.
Biggie: No, it’s a bad word. You know not “the” bad “B” word, but the “other” bad “B” word.
Peeved: The one that rhymes with itch?
Biggie: No, the one that rhymes with ee-otch. But, you know, has a “B” in front.
Peeved: My mom called me a beyotch in front of my daughter.
Peeved: Well, you’re right. That is a bad word. Granny shouldn’ t have said that.
Biggie: Well, don’t feel too bad. She called Aunt Jen one, too.
It’s bad enough that my mother was bad-mouthing me to my daughter, but it is completely unacceptable to do it with an overused, non-sensical term. Can we just get a permanent injunction put on all of the following phrases, effective immediately:
1. Whatever! (I know I don’t have to explain this one.)
2. Talk to the hand (I’ll give you “talk to the hand” – how about a knuckle sandwich?)
3. You go girl! (Go where? Long walk, short pier? Okay, then.)
4. Get down with your bad self (what does this even mean?)
5. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. (Grey’s jumped the shark when dead people started talking – let it go, people)
6. Amaze-balls (um, gross)
7. That’s what she said (It was maybe funny the first 5 times. Let’s leave the comedy to the professionals, please.)
8. Chillax (and/or any other made up words floating around out there).
9. 24/7 (Unless you are a 7-11 or WalMart, you don’t need to use this phrase.)
10. Think outside the box (What fucking BOX?????)
11. oh… and… I think I just threw up in my mouth a little (I cannot believe of all the words in the English vernacular, we have not created one to express this in a more efficient fashion.)
Okay, if a permanent injunction is not a remedy available, can we at least get a “punch a douche free card?” Thanks, ‘preciate ya!
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