Filed under: General Peevery | Tags: annoying, crack yourself up, drive me up the wall, dumb and dumber, grating, hanging picture frames, lame joke, nervous breakdown, peeve, pet peeves, sarcastic, unfunny, vent, will ferrell, you aren't as funny as you think you are
Today I was working on a special project, something outside the scope of my normal job functions. The task involved hanging over 70 pictures in 2-3 rows around a fairly large room. If you’ve ever tried to hang two pictures next to each other in your house, you can imagine what an enormous task this was. Yes, this was going to require a LOT of toothpaste.
If you know me at all, you probably know that I’m mad OCD and a diagram/prototype/lay-it-all-out-before-you-start type of girl. With my to-scale diagram in hand, we began measuring and came up with a great system of getting the pictures on the wall fairly level.
After the first row of 14, we got into a rhythm and were moving right along. Well, wouldn’t you know it, some smart-ass (a contractor working on another part of the project) waltzes in and says, “It looks good – I like the way they’re all different heights.” Let’s see if you can complete my thought… it began with, “Oh, go” and ended with, “yourself.”
One of my fellow workers quickly laughed it off and said, “Oh, Peeved, he was just kidding.” I’m standing on a ladder with a ruler, a level and what feels like quantum physics equations running through my head. Pardon me if I don’t think it’s funny. And, P.S. it was about the most unoriginal, unfunny thing a person could have come in and said. Glad you cracked yourself up buddy. Now, why don’t you go do some freaking work?
I can appreciate a good joke. Good being the operative word. I’m one of the few people who hate Will Ferrell and have never seen Dumb and Dumber. Because, when you try too hard to be funny, you usually aren’t. Throw on an America’s Funniest Home Video montage of people falling on their asses and that shit is funny.
There are two types of people who think they’re funny and aren’t. Most fall into the category of people who love to make jokes at everyone else’s expense, but can’t handle a comeback. So, let me get this straight – It’s okay for you to make a joke about the size of my ass, but the minute I even hint at your endowment issues, then we’re not being funny anymore? Interesting. Or, as I like to call it, obnoxious.
Then, there are the unfunnies who think they are the most hilarious thing since, well, Will Ferrell. You usually have absolutely no idea what their joke is because they are too busy laughing to tell it properly. Because, it’s, like, so funny, dude. Guess you had to be there. I don’t know about you, but I often find myself thanking Jesus I wasn’t.
These people are so unfunny you can’t even laugh at them, let alone with them. If you try to tell them they aren’t funny, do you know what they do? They laugh. Yes, laugh and say, “Oh, you’re so funny.”
No, actually, I’m not. And, neither are you.
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