Perpetually Peeved


So funny I forgot to laugh…

Today I was working on a special project, something outside the scope of my normal job functions.  The task involved hanging over 70 pictures in 2-3 rows around a fairly large room.  If you’ve ever tried to hang two pictures next to each other in your house, you can imagine what an enormous task this was.  Yes, this was going to require a LOT of toothpaste.

If you know me at all, you probably know that I’m mad OCD and a diagram/prototype/lay-it-all-out-before-you-start type of girl.  With my to-scale diagram in hand, we began measuring and came up with a great system of getting the pictures on the wall fairly level.   

So, Mrs. Segalski was right, I would need to use those 3rd grade math skills one day. Photo courtesy of tutorials.com

After the first row of 14, we got into a rhythm and were moving right along.  Well, wouldn’t you know it, some smart-ass (a contractor working on another part of the project) waltzes in and says, “It looks good – I like the way they’re all different heights.”  Let’s see if you can complete my thought…  it began with, “Oh, go” and ended with, “yourself.” 

One of my fellow workers quickly laughed it off and said, “Oh, Peeved, he was just kidding.”   I’m standing on a ladder with a ruler, a level and what feels like quantum physics equations running through my head.  Pardon me if I don’t think it’s funny.  And, P.S. it was about the most unoriginal, unfunny thing a person could have come in and said.  Glad you cracked yourself up buddy.  Now, why don’t you go do some freaking work?

I can appreciate a good joke.  Good being the operative word.  I’m one of the few people who hate Will Ferrell and have never seen Dumb and Dumber.  Because, when you try too hard to be funny, you usually aren’t.  Throw on an America’s Funniest Home Video montage of people falling on their asses and that shit is funny. 

There are two types of people who think they’re funny and aren’t.  Most fall into the category of people who love to make jokes at everyone else’s expense, but can’t handle a comeback.  So, let me get this straight – It’s okay for  you to make a joke about the size of my ass, but the minute I even hint at your endowment issues, then we’re not being funny anymore?  Interesting.  Or, as I like to call it, obnoxious. 

Then, there are the unfunnies who think they are the most hilarious thing since, well, Will Ferrell.  You usually have absolutely no idea what their joke is because they are too busy laughing to tell it properly.  Because, it’s, like, so funny, dude.  Guess you had to be there.  I don’t know about you, but I often find myself thanking Jesus I wasn’t. 

These people are so unfunny you can’t even laugh at them, let alone with them.  If you try to tell them they aren’t funny, do you know what they do?  They laugh. Yes, laugh and say, “Oh, you’re so funny.” 

No, actually, I’m not.  And, neither are you.

See, still not funny.

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18 Comments so far
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I didn’t know that was your office. I would have tried harder and said something funnier.

You know another good one? When a customer comes in the store, grabs an item, can’t find a price tag and says, invariably, “This must be free!” Yeah, that was soooo funny the first umpteen million times I heard it, dude. Ha ha ha!

I tell my wife ALL the time that “I crack myself up.” I’ll never say that again without thinking of the visual you have so thoughtfully provided. How can I ever repay you?

Comment by shoutabyss

Now you know how your wife feels (in re: visual). 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I tried to write something funny about this, but now worry that it’s actually unfunny. Damn you peeved!! 🙂 You could have told that guy that they’re actually all the same height and he’s probably dyslexic or just stupid.

Comment by pbandchutney

I know. When I was writing the post I had to try not to try and be funny. Whew!

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

What’s remarkable is how our idea of funny changes with age. In college jumping off the 4th story balcony into the pool with a beer in each hand was funny. Even more so because I can’t swim. But nowadays I have to pray to Neptune, wear a St Nicholas medal, check the weather channel, notify the neighbor, have 911 pre dialed and take a Dramamine just to go into the bathtub. The most sophisticated funny is the ability to laugh at ourselves at the end of our days.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

I prefer to laugh at other people at the end of the day. Guess I’m not very sophisticated. 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

People who laugh at their own jokes harder/louder than anyone else really annoy me. A real master of comedy never cracks herself up. She calmly surveys while everyone around her has asthma attacks because they are laughing so hard.

Comment by Amy

I can picture you now…

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

But did you complete the task to YOUR satisfaction?

gg

Comment by gallowaygrave

Oh, I rocked that project! Thanks for asking. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

My daughter ran into the wall the other day. I laughed my ass off. I can’t help that I find that funny.

Comment by Pop

There is seriously nothing funnier to me than real-life, unscripted slapstick. Unless, of course, it’s me falling or walking into something.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

You’ve never seen Dumb and Dumber?
We can no longer be friends…and neither can Smalls and the Quarter-Asian Sensation.

Comment by Neighbor of To Heat or Reheat

Well, if you invite me over for a BBQ, we can put it on and let Smalls & Q-A S play together (LOVE THAT NICKNAME). I won’t even tell Katie you got the name of her blog wrong. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Well, YOU are funny, PP (that abbreviation is actually kind of funny, too). I cannot stand “Dumb and Dumber,” but I have laughed at Will Ferrell on occasion…hope that doesn’t ruin our cyber-relationship.

Comment by Average Girl

Okay, please spell check my comment, since I clearly didn’t.

Comment by Average Girl

You got it.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

As long as you were laughing “at” him, we’re all good. 🙂

Comment by perpetuallypeeved




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