Perpetually Peeved

Lights, Action, Consequence
The Department of Torture has created a hybrid monster it likes to call the Big Granny.  This abomination rears its ugly heads when Biggie, the attitude-infused pre-teen/Secret Torture Agent joins forces with Granny, my mother and Chief Torture Agent, Division of Family Services.   

They are like the Zippleback of How to Train Your Dragon, except, less cute.

Peeved:  Biggie, I need you to put away those [completely inappropriate] clothes Granny just bought you and lay out your outfit for school tomorrow

Biggie:  Ugh.  God, Mom, I KNOW. [eye roll, drawer slam, foot stomp – she is only this coordinated when pouting] 

Peeved:  A simple, ‘yes, Mom’ will suffice.  The receipt for those clothes is still in the bag.  Talk to me like that again and I will have no problem returning them. 

Biggie: I am!  I’m doing it!  Gosh, Mom! [throws hands up in air, gives look of death, stomps foot again] 

Peeved: Biggie… 

Granny:  Oh, give her a break, she’s tired. 

Peeved: I’m sure she is.  I’m tired too, it’s no excuse for talking to me that way. 

Granny:  Oh, come on, she’s medicated. 

Peeved:  Mom, it’s Tylenol Sinus! [eye roll, foot stomp, look of death] 

See, much less cute.

If Lindsay Lohan didn’t have Dina doing such a bang-up job of coming up with excuses, I’d have to recommend my mother for the position.  I don’t know if you’ve seen the Matt Lauer interview with Dina Lohan, but she pretty much blames everyone else for Lindsay’s problems.  It’s the judge’s fault.  The judge was “coming down hard” on her.  This, of course, is true because the Judge is currently being recused.  What?  Lindsay is on her fourth stint in rehab and still, we can’t admit there may be a problem that has nothing to do with external forces?  The biggest mistake that judge made was not also ordering Dina to the Betty Ford Clinic for families of addicts. 

Call the engraver, we need to change "Mother" to "Enabler" - this makes me sad to be associated with Long Island.

Every Monday, I grab a beer, sit down and put on one of my favorite shows – Intervention on A&E.  (Yes, I realize how wrong that is.)  It’s so compelling to watch these people and their real-life struggle with addiction.  I love that the show actually keeps it real and portrays what happens when addicts face an intervention and go to rehab.  What happens is, about half or more relapse.  I used to try to guess which ones would make it and which ones would not.  However, that game got too easy to be any fun.  You can tell who was going to make it by their families.  If there was one – it only takes one – enabler in the group, they were done-zo.  I don’t understand this.  I literally yell at my TV.  It’s like watching a horror flick when the girl goes towards the weird sound instead of hiding in the closet and calling 911.   

Addict:  I don’t even have a problem.  I’m not even going.  

Good Family Member:  If you don’t go, then I will no longer let you stay at my house.  I will no longer let you borrow my car.  I will refuse to give you more money. 

Addict: That’s fine.  I’ll just ask Mommy. 

[Peeved:  Don’t do it Mom.  Stay strong.  Remember what Candi said, you will no longer let them kill themselves in front of you.  You are only helping her die.] 

Bad Mommy:  We love you, we just want you to get better. 

Addict:  Are you going to cut me off, too? 

Bad Mommy:  [crying, showing weakness] 

[Peeved:  No!  Bad Mommy! No!  Well, dammit, I give her about 10 days before she starts drinking the mouthwash.] 

I told you.

Parents need to stop giving kids excuses for why nothing is their fault.  Hollywood or not, there is no such thing as consequences anymore.  For my kids, I want life to be something they live, not just a series of things that happen to them.  The Dina Lohan’s of the world need to put on their big girl panties and start doing the difficult job of parenting.  No excuses. 

18 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Holy sh8te! With a start like this Thursday’s post should be a nuke…


Comment by gallowaygrave

Yeah, I’m in full-on peeved mode.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I swear this whole awful cycle of excuses mixed with entitlement starts when parents believe things like “the teacher hates me” when a kid brings home a bad grade. There’s nothing worse thatn a person who can’t take responsibility or blame but has no problem hoarding credit… And speaking of A&E Hoarders is just as addictive (?) as Intervention.

Comment by Conflicted Mean Girl

I just want to reach into the screen and shake them. Lord help me when I see someone doing it in front of me. It takes all I have not to be the crazy lady trying to tell other people how to parent.

Oh – and I also love Hoarders. You just never know what they’re going to pull out from under all that junk. The only thing that stinks is you can’t snack and watch that show. Actually, I recommend letting a half hour pass after eating before watching that show.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

but let’s be honest…those people…the dina’s of the world aren’t truly that concerned with the welfare of their children. dina’s only in it for herself. please note the comment..” i was in this business long before my children. they even tell me to write a book.” huh? thought this was about lindsey being a hot mess.
i digress.
stand strong sister. in the end, biggie will respect you. but more importantly, she won’t walk all over you.

Comment by katie o.

I mean, eventually, when she has her own kids, I’m sure I’ll be getting an apology much like the one I gave my mother. Still, these parents bother me. How could you really not care about your own child?

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

FAMOUS EXCUSES 1) Do you think I lost all the money at the casino on purpose? 2) The Creator has preordained all that will happen so it’s not my fault. 3) It was my destiny and I had no choice . 4) Every one else is doing it. 5) I can’t do anything right according to you. 6) If I knew it would turn out that way don’t you think I would have done it differently? 7) We need to catch the person that actually did it. 8) I was in Connecticut at the time. Jeff can vouch for me. 9) I was walking in my sleep. 10) Well, next time you do it!

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

So, you know Jeff? 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I think Dina Lohan is a fabulous parent. Who wouldn’t want their mom out cutting her coke into lines with the razor blade for her? I can’t believe that Dina doesn’t wear a maid’s costume while giving Lindsey her booze…We should all strive to be like Dina. When Lindsey is out of rehab and after her funeral, I am going to see if Dina will take me under her wing!

Comment by thelifeofjamie

I called Child Services… you should be getting a knock on your door any minute. 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Great Post! I saw Dina Lohan on TV the other night and did well to not throw a brick at the TV screen.

Comment by redriverpak

Freaking moron, she is. I’d rather watch Fox News for 8 hours straight than have to sit through that train wreck again.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I saw the interview too. She almost seemed like she was on something herself because she could not formulate and communicate a coherent thought.

That’s when I started to feel sorry for Lindsay – she had an uphill battle with a mom like that.

Comment by Jenni Engledow

She sure did. The dad doesn’t help either. Does this kid have no one to give a legit crap about her? It’s sad.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

This so reminds me of my mother with my daughters – geez, do they do “mother” interventions? Hoarders is great, you never know what they’ll pull out. Agree about not eating.

Comment by izziedarling

O.M.G. – YES! You should pitch it to A&E… this week on “Mother Interventions” – Susan has been hooked on guilt trips for years…

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

This was an excellent peeve, PP! I hate enablers too! Had one at the bookstore last week when a boy (probably 5) hit my daughter (2.5) and the mom said, “Oh. He can’t control himself yet.” Would it have been wrong to punch her and say, “Oh. I’m sorry. I can’t control myself yet.”

Comment by Pop

Well, now I know we are doing the same thing on Monday nights. (Except I use the DVR and watch on Tuesday sans commercials.) have I told you lately that I love you? Great post!

Comment by Renee Schuls-Jacobson

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: