Filed under: General Peevery, Wednesday "What the...?" | Tags: annoying, children, drive me up the wall, grating, hipster, meat dress, moustache, nervous breakdown, peeve, pet peeves, sarcastic, vent, wednesday what the
Come on down, you’re the next contestant on “Wednesday What the…?”
1. What the… are you selling?
You know what’s almost as annoying as preppy frat boys and sorority girls? Hipsters. Hipsters and their obsession with all things moustache.
WTF Mr. My Skinny Jeans Don’t Make Me Look Douchey Enough?
- 2. What the… are you wearing?
Biggie wants to dress up as Lady GaGa for Halloween.
Biggie: I couldn’t wear the outfit to school. But, I could wear it to the party. She doesn’t have a lot of outfits that would be appropriate though…
Peeved: How about the meat dress?
Biggie: Um, ew, no.
Peeved: Why not? I’m sure an hour into the party you’ll be smelling great.
Biggie: I am NOT putting a steak on my head.
Peeved: Ribeyes are on sale this week…
Biggie: Besides, that is such a waste of good bacon.
So, why did she wear that outfit? “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a piece of meat.” (Source: USA Today) WTF Ms. If You Don’t Want to Be a Piece of Meat Quit Flaunting Your Chicken Cutlets In Everyone’s Face?
3. What the… is that?
Not long after I wrote the post about my experience with yoga, I was driving in the car with the fam and came to a stop at this stop sign. I don’t know if it was the timing, or my extremely immature sense of humor, but I could not contain myself.
Peeved: Bwahahahahahahahahaha [hitting Mr. Peeved & pointing out the window”]
Mr. Peeved: hahahaha (apparently, his sense of humor is more sophisticated than mine)
Biggie: What? What’s so funny?
Peeved: Bwahahahahahahahahaha [GASP!] Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
Mr. Peeved: Really? Biggie, don’t worry about it.
Biggie: Oh, well, what’s so funny? What does “queefing” mean?
Peeved: Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! [GASP!] I can’t… [GASP] Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Mr. Peeved: It means farting. Peeved, what the hell is wrong with you?
Peeved: But, it says… Bwahahahahahahahahaha!! [GASP! Wipe away tears…] No, Biggie. It doesn’t mean that. Don’t tell her that, then she’s going to use it around her friends. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!
Mr. Peeved: Okay, fine. Just don’t worry about it, Biggie. And, don’t use it around your friends.
Biggie: Um, okay.
Mr. Peeved: Pull yourself together over there! What’s wrong with you?
Well, curiousity killed the cat, but it also mortified the mother. Because, Biggie decided to ask everyone she could find at Mr. Peeved’s place of employment what it meant. WTF Am I Supposed To Tell Her?
4. What the… school do you go to?
WTF Kind of Moron Are You? Oh, an oxymoron? That makes sense.
5. What the… kind of backwater town are you from?
Maybe that’s their “natural habitat” in North Georgia, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have those wire cages in the forests of Asia. WTF Mr. I Should Catch Up on My Animal Planet Shows?
6. What the… is wrong with you?
On Monday night, Mr. Peeved and I went on a date night. I noticed there was a same side of the booth couple sitting a vew tables away (SO WRONG). I wasn’t at the right angle to get the shot, so I recruited Mr. Peeved to take the picture. Above is the best shot out of a few attempts. This is why Mr. Peeved is not allowed to take pictures. And, why I have absolutely no decent pictures of me and the kids in my photo albums. This is not, contrary to his protests, the fault of the iPhone camera.
When I gave him the camera at Smalls’ birthday party, he loaded it up with 50 action shots – all blurry – of her opening her presents. Are you looking at them as you take them? If it’s blurry, wouldn’t you ask me to change the settings? WTF Mr. I Should Stick To Cooking? Oh well, guess I’ll just have to keep bringing in those photo booth strips as our “family pictures.”
**And, here is the disclaimer where I say Mr. Peeved has many, many talents. Photography is just not one of them. Lucky for me, spoiling me with fancy gadgets like the beautiful Canon I got for Christmas last year, is. Love you, baby!**
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