Perpetually Peeved

Conferences are good for three things: free food and drinks, free vendor goodies, and blog fodder. Really, folks, I’m getting some good stuff for you here. What sucks most about conferences? There are a lot of people, all in one place, and they all want to talk to you about the weather. Um, we’re in San Diego. It’s beautiful. Good talk.

Have you ever tried to talk to someone with a wonky eye? You know, when one eye is looking at you and the other is looking just a little to the left? Disconcerting, right? Especially when they switch halfway through and you’re left wondering if you were looking at the right eye the whole time. At least they have a physical defect. I mean, it’s not like they can help it. You just have to look right between their eyes and hightail it out if there as soon as possible.

Barring physical defect, there is no good reason not to look someone in the eye when you’re speaking with them.

(I’m blogging from the train on my iPhone… That’s all I got, sorry)

*****
[yesterday, at the conference]

The Wanderer: So, where are you from? (looking at a spot somewhere in between over-my-shoulder and my left boob)

Peeved: The southeast. (Oh my god, do I have dandruff?) And, you? (discreetly brushing off my shoulder)

The Wanderer: Oh, the Northeast. (Not even a flicker of eye contact.)

Peeved: Oh, they were supposed to get snow today. (A booger in my nose? An Alphalpha hair or two? Did I write on myself with pen again?)

The Wanderer: Yep, they did. Sure glad I’m in San Diego. (still staring)

Peeved: Yeah, the weather sure is beautiful. (My bra strap showing? Something in my teeth? Slunch dripped down my suit? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT LADY?????!!!!!)

The Wanderer: Yep, beautiful. (I don’t think she’s even blinked.)

Peeved: Well, nice to meet you…(Shuffling off to the bathroom where I was sure I would see a tiny twin growing out of my left collar bone.)

*****
Seriously. The shit we put up with for some free swag.