Perpetually Peeved


Friday “the fa…?”

Okay, so I’m a total slack-ass and missed Wednesday “what the…?”  Readers (all 2 of you, you know who you are) can now stop stalking me for posts.  I’ve got plenty of stuff for you today, folks.  Get prepared for Friday “the fa…?” – it’s like Wednesdays, only better.  Remember that song by C&C Music Factory?  Start humming it.  Okay, now substitute “hmm” for “the fa?”  Now, keep that on in the background.  Here we go:

Actual nutritional label on the back of a can of mixed nuts.

In other news, coffee is hot and if you are allergic to shellfish you shouldn’t order the crabcake po’ boy.

This is what happened to all those dirtbags who used to smoke pot in the commons in high school.  Xfinity has locked them in a room and tasked them with writing movie previews.  The saddest part?  This is probably the most entertaining thing on television.

The following Friday “the fa?”s have been brought to you courtesy of a trip to the “country” (an hour and a half outside the big city) for some pumpkin picking and apple frittering…

Yep, I think this one speaks for itself.  If it doesn’t, pat yourself on the back you are a better person than me.

There is only one place this outfit would be even marginally acceptable: a walk for breast cancer.  A monochromatic jogging suit? A PINK monochromatic jogging suit?  Head-to-toe pink? A jogging suit to a family outing?  Replete with spring-action PINK Nikes?  Monochromatic sweats are not slimming.  They make you look pregnant when you are not.  They are not appropriate under all but the smallest of circumstances. At least it’s not velour (*cringe*).

When Just for Men goes bad...

Maybe he was just trying to be festive.  Or, maybe he was hoping the bozo haircolor would distract people enough to not realize he is carrying his wife’s purse.  At least, I hope that’s his wife’s purse.  Can you say “pumpkin-whipped?”

I will be blowing this up, cutting it out and hanging it on my wall for the Halloween party.  I like to call her “Frankenmom” – that hair puts Kate Gosselin to shame.  To shame.

Pumpkin roll, anyone?

Um… I think you put the emPHASIS on the wrong sylLABLE, or something like that.

Happy Friday y’all!




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