Perpetually Peeved


Christmas in July

The year Smalls was two, she fell in love with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  We thought this was adorable.  All the way up until May.  Then we started to worry that people would take one look at the Rudolph hoodie she was wearing, listen to her screaming singing the Rudolph song everywhere we went, and start to be a little judgmental.

The other weekend we went out to the stores and there were Christmas items for sale.  Christmas items.  In July.  Now, I understand the bad economy has had places like Toys ‘R Us and the like come up with Christmas in July gimmicks to increase sales.  I understand selling a small selection of Christmas items in craft and fabric stores.  If you are anything like me, it might be that long before you actually get around to those things.  What I cannot fathom is how it is okay to have a full-blown section of your store devoted to Christmas wares in July.  It drives me insane.  Didn’t you just take those down 5 months ago?

After much investigation, we discovered that our lack of holiday decoration removal may have been the cause of Smalls obsession with a never-ending Christmas. Well, that and the presents, of course.

As we were going through our budget a few weeks ago, my very smart husband said that we should start to save for Christmas now.  You know, pick up stuff we see on sale and throw it in the attic so we aren’t hit all at once with the expense of Christmas.  Very prudent and, for me, completely unrealistic.  I am the type of person that will pull over at a gas station to wear my new shirt home.  Yep, I’m the one leaving DSW with the old shoes in the bag and the new ones on my feet.  Anticipation is probably my least favorite feeling in the whole world. I’m also the drunk lady you see buying everyone George Foreman Grills and Flobees on December 23rd because I forgot Christmas was on the 25th this year.  So, I very dutifully said, “yes, dear” and chuckled in my head.

I refuse to buy something just because it is on sale.  Most of the time if there is such a good deal that I felt the need to “stock up” it’s on absolutely nothing I want to “stock up” on.  Murphy’s law, and all.  I love a good deal, but I’m not cheap.  My favorite game in the whole world is the “Guess How Much” game.  My husband, he hates this game.  Despises it so much it drives him to passive aggressiveness.

Peeved: You are never going to believe how much I got this dress for.

Mr. Peeved: How much?

Peeved: No – you have to guess.  It’s designer.  Silk.

Mr. Peeved: What’s the regular price?

Peeved: I’ll tell you after you guess.  That takes the fun out of it.

Mr. Peeved: Five dollars.

Peeved: That’s your guess?

Mr. Peeved: Yep, five dollars.

Peeved: Five dollars. For a silk designer dress.

Mr. Peeved: Yep.

Peeved: I can’t get a single fingernail painted for $5.

Mr. Peeved: Well, how much was it?

Peeved: Forget it.

Mr. Peeved: Well, you made it sound like a good deal.

I hate when he does that.  Why can’t he just play along?  Everyone knows you guess about 20% off of the regular price and then act completely shocked when I say 55% off.

Last night I went to Target to pick up some presents for upcoming birthday parties.  When your kid is 4 you have like two a weekend.  I literally had a list of 9 kids I needed to buy presents for.  I didn’t want to chintz out, but I did have this “spend responsibly” angel on my shoulder (how the hell did THAT get there).  I figured I would see what they had.  Well, what they had was the mother of all unannounced clearance sales on toys.  Eureka! Mother-lode! Jackpot! I gotta go, I see red tags, I’ll call you later! kind of clearance sale.  There was a family of four that each had two carts and were just going down the aisles sweeping things into them.  I seriously wondered if they were going to open a toy store.  It was insane.  So, I came home with this:

So, um…. guess how much!  The person who gets the closest without going over will win a special prize (which may or may not be a well-worn Rudolph hoodie in size 2T).

Now, I’m just going to have to stop myself from giving the ones for Smalls over to her right away, find a place to put them and the resist the urge to give the kids 3 presents instead of one because that’s what I would have normally spent and will feel guilty that I got such a good deal.

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