Perpetually Peeved


The phone! The phone is ringing!

What sound is more annoying than an unanswered phone?  Okay, besides your kids whining, your mother-in-law bitching (not mine, love her!), or a car alarm going off for an hour?

Not many, let me tell you.  So, this morning I go into work, I’m drinking my coffee and getting settled for the day – and I hear it – RING! RING! RING! RING!

Peeved: [The phone! The phone is ringing! – ah, shit.  Now, I’m going to have that song in my head all day]  Who’s phone is that?

RING! RING! RING!

Peeved: (to co-worker) Do you hear that?  Is that your phone?

Co-Worker: No.  I don’t hear anything.

Peeved: Come here.  Do you hear it now?  I think it’s in that empty office next to mine. You know, the one with the incense that smells like a geriatric’s bathroom.

RING! RING! RING!

Co-Worker: (with ear up against empty office door)  No.  I don’t think so.  It does freaking smell, though.

Peeved: It’s got to be somewhere.  Come in my office.  It’s like it gets louder.

Co-Worker: It’s definitely louder in here.  It sounds like it’s coming out of the air duct.  Maybe someone is stalking you and forgot their phone.

RING! RING! RING!

Peeved: Yeah, I can just picture someone walking around their house calling and looking for their phone.

Co-Worker: Maybe it’s in the hallway.  It’s definitely louder back here by your desk.

Peeved: [The phone! The phone is ringing!…. GD it!  ANSWER THE PHONE ALREADY!]  I’m going to look in the hallway.

***

RING! RING! RING!

***

Co-Worker: So?

Peeved: Nothing in the hallway.  I think someone is trying to torture me.

Co-Worker: This is so weird.

Peeved: I’m going to have BossLady open that empty office.  It’s got to be coming from there.

***

Peeved: Hey, BossLady, would you mind coming and opening the office next to me?  Someone’s phone is ringing incessantly and I’m going to go bonkers!

RING! RING! RING!

Peeved: Do you hear that?  It’s been going on for like 20 minutes.  Seriously.  I’m going to lose it.

BossLady: (opening office door)  Nope, not in here… but DAMN! it stinks in here.  I have to talk to her about this.

Peeved: That is SO WEIRD!  Come here in my office… doesn’t it sound like it’s right in here…  oh… um… wouldn’t it be funny if it were my phone?

BossLady: Please tell me you’re joking.

Peeved: Oops.

Guess who's the turkey this Thanksgiving! (photo from igourmet.com)

 




%d bloggers like this: