Filed under: General Peevery, Uncategorized, Wednesday "What the...?" | Tags: annoying, drive me up the wall, fashion victim, grating, hello kitty, inbred, internet security, jobs you can do stoned, mullet, nervous breakdown, parenthood, parenting, parking, pet peeves, sarcastic, vent, wednesday what the, which came first home ec or family and consumer science, wtf
Yesterday was full of weird stuff I didn’t have pictures of. Today, I’ve got proof. It’s the weird, wacky, wondrous, Wednesday “What the…?” – Enjoy, folks.
1. What the… are you trying to say?
That might be hard to read, let me tell you what it says.
Is this a valid email address for you (for your protection, the email address has been partially masked)?
Um, there is no X in my email address. So, by partially masked do you mean completely obscured? WTF Your Security Levels Are So High You Even Tell Me I Got My Father’s Middle Name Wrong On The Security Questions?
2. What the… are you wearing?
Have you ever been going through old photographs and come across something that makes you go WTF? Well, here’s a classic case. Even Smalls is trying to figure out what’s going on there. I guess stereotypes have to come from somewhere. WTF Mr. I Buy My Outfits Out Of a Catalog Called DING!DING!DING!?
3. What the… is that?
I sure hope they’re paying you. WTF Hello
4. What the… kind of school do you go to?
(driving home from school yesterday)
Biggie: Aren’t you going to ask me what new Connections (this is a fancy word for electives) I got today.
Peeved: Sure, but the last 3 times I asked you, you told me you didn’t know yet and to stop asking you.
Biggie: Well, I got Music Appreciation and Family and Consumer Science.
Peeved: Family and Consumer Science? That sounds cool. What’s that? Budgets and stuff?
Biggie: No. You cook stuff and you get to carry around an egg and stuff and, like, pretend it’s a baby. It’s really cool.
Peeved: You mean you got Home Ec.
Biggie: No, it’s called Family and Consumer Science. Home Ec is, like, when they teach you budgets and stuff. They don’t call it that anymore, Mom.
Peeved: Family and Consumer Science?
Peeved: Where’s the science in it?
Biggie: Cooking is science. And, so is having babies.
Peeved: Sounds like Home Ec to me.
Why does everything have to have a fancy name now? It’s no longer English, it’s Language Arts. It’s not Gym, it’s Exercise Science. WTF Fancy Pants School – Why Don’t You Try Teaching Them How Eggs Get Fertilized Now That You’re Calling It Science?
5. What the… kind of backwater town are you from?
When wearing flip-flops with pants and no pedicure is the least offensive thing you’ve got going on, you’ve got issues. WTF Ms. I’m So Country Even My Hairdo Is Inbred?
6. What the… is wrong with you?
Some days, I wish I had one of those jobs that don’t do random drug testing. You know, like pizza delivery guy, waiter, Xfinity writer, garbage man. Either someone likes to wake and bake, or they have a sick sense of humor. WTF Is Afroman Doing As My Garbageman?
I’ve got $50 that says the owner of the gold Toyota would, in fact, jump off a bridge if all of his friends did first. WTF Doublemint Douches?