Perpetually Peeved


Keep your uterus to yourself, please

At lunch with my friend yesterday, she recounted this story to me:

(Friend is 7 months pregnant and grocery shopping with her husband.  She is minding her own business in the cereal aisle when a random stranger approaches her and the following exchange takes place.)

Random Stranger (who I picture in my head based on Friend’s description to look like someone you may find on http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/): You need to have that baby with no drugs.

Friend: Oh, okay.

Random Stranger: I’m serious, girl.  I had the best orgasm of my life when I gave birth natural.

Friend:  Excuse me? 

Random Stranger [leans in a bit closer, lowers voice slightly]Yes, BEST orgasm of my life.  Don’t get the drugs.  I don’t want your husband to hear me, you know them men like to think that they give you the best orgasm ever.  You don’t want to let him know about it, but don’t get the drugs.  Best. Orgasm. Ever.

Friend: Oh, Okay.  Thanks.

Holy fracking TMI!  There is absolutely no need for this.  Unless I’m a doctor, there is no reason on the face of the planet that I need to know about A) your sex life; B) your internal organs; and C) your bodily secretions.  SAY NO TO OVERSHARING.  Oh – and I don’t know what Kool-Aid this woman has been drinking, but SAY YES TO THE DRUGS!

One of the reasons I love http://failbook.com/  is that public oversharing can actually be entertaining.  You avoid the whole face-to-face awkward and can just skip to the laugh about it with your friends part.  Most awkward overshare, though?  A co-worker who you don’t really know very well posting about her uterine surgery.  Really?  I don’t need to know that and I don’t want to picture your uterus every time I see you in the break room – I’m trying to eat my lunch for shit’s sake.

Some funny overshares courtesy of Failbook:


9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

When it’s like pushing a melon through a straw YES TO THE DRUGS!!!! :)

Comment by Mindless Rambler

I assume the random stranger was a woman…

Comment by Dave Hambidge

Yes, -10 points for leaving out a very pertinent piece of information. I would fix it, but I prefer to leave people guessing. :)

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

No PP, overshare is when your once prego friend has a friggin video night featuring the baby being extracted from her vagina. No one and simply no one wants to see that. In fact it is definitely a defriending on Facebook.

Comment by frigginloon

WOW. That’s why I don’t have friends.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Hahahaha

Comment by izziedarling

I’m just sitting here totally shocked. Who does that?

Thanks for the link to Failbook. I’d never heard of it before.

Comment by thoughtsappear

I know, right!

You’re welcome. It’s one of my daily funny sites – along with FMyLife and Awkward Family Photos. :)

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Should have asked helpful stranger to “help” with college fund.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino




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