Perpetually Peeved


Booking Code: DIY 41 FFS

My mother calls me at 8:30 this morning, returning my call from yesterday afternoon about possibly going to dinner and watching a movie at my house.  In addition to being perpetually late, my mother is also plagued by phone issues (even though we just got her a new phone), including random delayed relays that cause her messages to conveniently not get through until she’s ready to return your call, and sporadic episodes of shutting down and “dying” whenever she doesn’t want to talk to people.  I’m writing the blog of peeves, my mother is writing the book of excuses.  It’s actually a twelve-volume set.

So, this morning she calls me and says, “Well, I really want to go to New York in July, so can you look online and get me a ticket?”  Apparently, I am the only person on the face of the Earth that knows how to use Kayak.com.  My mother works for the government and is on the computer all day.  But, I’m “the only one who can ever find those great deals.”  Just ask my sister and my ex-husband.  They do the same exact thing to me.  If anyone is going anywhere in my family, I am the one planning it.  I have to find the fare, get the card numbers, send the confirmation codes, re-send the confirmation codes, organize the pick-ups, and heaven forbid something goes wrong with the airline… it’s me they’re calling to bitch out.

I am opening my own travel agency: P2 Travel.  I will help you get where you are going, as long as I don’t have to go with you.  When you do go, I’m borrowing Mom’s phone so that when your flight gets delayed, you can’t find your gate, or you just don’t know which color rental car to choose, it will magically “die” and I won’t have to deal with you.  Oh, and by the way, it’s a one-way ticket.  Your booking confirmation code is:  DIY 41 FFS (do it yourself for once, for f…  well, you get the point).

Au Revoir!!! Wait... where's your dog? What do you mean I'm supposed to be watching him? Do you KNOW what happened to the hamsters? Ugh, fine.

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11 Comments so far
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Hmmmm sounds all too familiar, I could be your UK branch! 🙂

Comment by Mindless Rambler

Yes, we could be like that restaurant in New York where the people pay extra to have the servers be rude to them.

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

This is what happens when you are a dependable person. Solution: It’s called “spin the table.” Start asking them to do things for you. And tell them the reason is that you are pregnant(rec let spouse in on ruse) and need help due to depression. After six months have an alleged miscarriage, wait six months and get pregnant again. I do not have a cell phone. Or a land line. What’s wrong with making and receiving calls down at the general store and then play a game or two of checkers. That’ll will also accomplish the desired obfuscation.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

Well, D’Ag, once again you’ve got it all figured out. Am starting to pack my things and move to the country now. ‘Cause there is certainly no general store or pay phone in my neck of the woods. If I want to play checkers on a porch, I have to go to Cracker Barrel (and even that is a half hour away).

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

I just learned what this WTF means. “Wait till fall” What wonderful advice because its just to hot in Miami and doesn’t cool off till October and then you can paint the house or wash the car or do almost anything without being soaked through and needing 7 showers a day. Thank you for helping me to stay hip. In the picture of the plane, is it sun rise or sun set? I hope this isn’t like that “lady or the tiger” thing by that French author whose name I can’t say or spell.

Comment by Carl D'Agostino

I don’t know… come to think of it I can’t even tell if the plane is coming or going…

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

Nice little rant!

Comment by davehambo

Thank you Dave. Looking forward to 6/12 and the first installment of your fiction. I hope to learn even more Brit-isms. 😉

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

My sister is the opposite – she loves making travel arrangements and pretty much planned our whole vacation to the Dominican Republic. She even dressed as Julie the Cruise Director from Love Boat for Halloween last year. I hate doing that crap, so it’s great for me.
For a nominal fee, I’m sure she would book all the travel arrangements for your family, too.

Comment by Amy

Okay, here’s where my hypocrisy comes to play… If I’m going on the trip, no one is planning it but me.

However, if I’m not, then it falls into the category of “not my bag” and you should handle it your dang self!

Comment by perpetuallypeeved

First clue: “my mother calls ….” You could get really mean about it and start sending them all sorts of God-forsaken places. Or not.

Comment by izziedarling




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