Filed under: General Peevery | Tags: annoying, babysitting, baked ziti, cheetah costume, children, cooking, drive me up the wall, grating, halloween, halloween costumes, katie perry, lady ga ga, making your own halloween costumes, mixed tape, nervous breakdown, parenthood, parenting, peeve, pet peeves, pre-teen, sarcastic, when animals attack
The last few days have wrought plenty by way of inspiration, but not much in the area of motivation.
I finished Smalls’ Halloween costume. Sewing is tied for third on the list of things that make me happy (food and bad reality TV being numbers 1 and 2, and the tie for third being shoe shopping). It’s mathematical, but creative at the same time, and at the end of the day you have something to look at and say, “I made that.”
That is one scary cheetah. Besides the fact that the pattern was made for Umpa Loompa and I had to take it in about 2 inches all around, it came out relatively good. It didn’t hurt that I just got a new sewing machine. An awesome new sewing machine. A sewing machine that makes me wonder what the heck I was doing wasting my time on that dinky little one I had before. Ignorance is bliss, indeed. Now, I just have a poodle skirt to finish up, a Lady GaGa (we finally found one appropriate enough for Biggie to wear), a Sonic the Hedgehog sidekick, a kitty cat, a zombie cheerleader and either a tiger or a hot dog (she just has to make up her mind – I’m voting for hot dog!). Wish me luck, I will need it.
*****
Friday night, I spent the entire evening cleaning my house. Saturday morning, I spent the entire morning re-cleaning my house. Sigh.
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Saturday I decided to host a dinner party at my house. It was a potluck, but I was making the appetizers and the main dish. And by “I” I mean me. Mr. Peeved was working. Don’t ask me what I was thinking, I won’t have an answer for you and I’ll just change the subject real fast. I figured if the Irish in me can let me get away with drinking whiskey and not getting a hangover, then the Italian in me should let me make an edible dinner. The kids and I went shopping at the farmers market. I remembered their jackets and everything. I remembered all the things on my list. I whipped together an Italian Nachos sauce, a caprese salad and a tray of baked ziti all with an hour to spare.
Full cream, asiago cheese sauce with onions, peppers, Italian sausage and olives that you dredge over nachos and top with banana peppers. Mangia!
Are you impressed? Yeah, I was too. I was so proud of myself. Whistling away, cleaning up. What? What does that empty cheese container say? Shredded asiago? Who the heck sells shredded asiago and, puts it right next to the shredded mozzarella? Dagnabit! Back to the store for baked ziti redux.
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Sunday, Biggie had her first gig as a babysitter/mother’s helper for my friend (let’s call her Brave Soul, shall we?). Biggie would like me to make a public announcement on her behalf, it goes something like this: I AM SO COOL. Anywho, she took the assignment very seriously, packing a “do bag” and getting pointers from her more seasoned friend.
Biggie: Don’t worry Brave Soul, I am so prepared. I have coloring books and a tea set and a lot of fun activities that I can do with Little Brave Soul. And, my friend, she, like, babysits all the time, and she told me all the tricks of the trade.
Brave Soul: That’s great. Little Brave Soul will love that. What did your friend teach you?
Biggie: Well, she said you just have to play whatever they want to play and make believe it is the most fun in the whole wide world even when it’s the most stupid and boring thing ever.
Brave Soul: Yep, that’s pretty much all there is to it.
There is a rule in my car that is violated at least twice a day. The rule is nobody is allowed to touch the radio until we are out of the driveway and even then, they are to ask first. Biggie can’t grasp the concept. Yesterday afternoon, we get into the car and she whips this CD out of her bag.
Biggie: Mom, can I play this? [waving it in front of me]
Peeved: What is it?
Biggie: It’s my babysitting mix. It’s all my favorite songs. You know, for when I’m babysitting.
Peeved: Biggie – it’s spelled wrong.
Biggie: No it’s not, ma. Gosh, that’s like, slang. No one puts the G on the end of ing words anymore. Can I put it in?
Peeved: Sure, I want to hear this.
[Biggie inserts CD, turns up volume and it starts playing]
Biggie: Oh. [hits disc skip to track 4]
Peeved: What are you doing? Just let it play.
Biggie: Oh, I can’t. Tracks 1, 2 and 3 aren’t appropriate for Smalls to hear.
Peeved: What? I thought this was a babysitting mix.
Biggie: It is. It’s just music I like.
Peeved: But, the first three tracks are inappropriate for your little sister? Why? What are they?
Biggie: It’s mostly Lady Ga Ga. The first one is the one with the Christmas tree and the second one is the one with the disco stick.
Peeved: I don’t think either of those are appropriate for you. What are you doing downloading these? And, what’s wrong about a Christmas tree.
Biggie: You know, when she says “light me up, put me on top, let’s fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la”.
Peeved: Give me that thing. Right. Now.
Biggie: Guess I’m not allowed to listen to it anymore…
You think? It’s bad enough Katie Perry is melting Elmo’s popsicle. Now I have to worry about the sanctity of yuletide carols.
photo from msn.nz
*****
This morning, I couldn’t find my soapbox. Which, is a shame, because apparently people have completely forgotten the art of manners. Simple things, like hold the door open for the person behind you. And, say thank you when someone holds the door open for you. And, if you see me running (or hear my heels clicking) towards the elevator, don’t pretend you can’t find the door open button. Jackknives.
*****
I will be appearing on Animal Planet's "After the Attack" next month.
Smalls: Mommy, thank you for my cheetah costume.
Peeved: You’re welcome, honey. I’m glad you like it.
Smalls: When are you going to make your costume, mommy?
Peeved: Well, Smalls, I don’t know what I want to be for Halloween yet.
Smalls: But, you need to make a gazelle costume.
Peeved: I do?
Smalls: Yeah. What am I going to eat if I don’t have a gazelle?
35 Comments so far
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Perpetually Peeved 
Congrats on your new sewing machine! That cheetah costume is the cutest. Gazelle! How funny would that be?! I’m stuck for a costume as well. I’m usually inspired by now, but I can’t come up with anything I love.
And, that italian cheeze dip sounds devine. Must. Try. Soon.
Comment by Amy September 27, 2010 @ 4:53 pmItalian nachos are THE BOMB! Melt a stick of butter, a pint of full cream and reduce by half. Stir in the shredded asiago until it’s cheesy enough to be sauce, but isn’t stringy. Saute up onions, peppers and italian sausage (that is squeezed out of the casing and broken up like hamburger meat). Throw those in the cheese sauce. Then either throw a large spoonful of chopped olives or serve the olives and banana peppers on top. Yum yum. My husband likes to keep the meat out of the sauce, but I think it’s easier to serve like that, in a crockpot. Just add a bit more cream when you put it in the crockpot and keep it on low or it will burn. 🙂
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:52 amFrom one creative, crafty, foodie girl to another. What an amazing project! Kudos to you! Love the Babysittin’ Mix bit!
Comment by apieceofthepiehole September 27, 2010 @ 5:17 pmThank you! I finally got to track 10 and there is apparently an unedited version of a song with the s word in it. She just looked at me and said, “oops” 😉
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:53 amI am very impressed with your sewing skills.
Comment by tryityoumightlikeit September 27, 2010 @ 8:37 pmCan’t wait to see the gazelle costume.
I did that off a pattern. If there’s one thing I can do, it’s follow directions. 🙂
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:53 amBiggie is turning into Sarah Palin- leaving the G off of ing words!!!
Comment by thelifeofjamie September 27, 2010 @ 9:12 pmso freakin annoyin, right?
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:54 amWhat an awesome cheetah costume for Smalls!! And wonderful-looking caprese… and that looks exactly like one of my daughter’s cd’s from 5-6 years ago. 🙂
Comment by Bonnie September 27, 2010 @ 9:43 pmHelp, Bonnie… how did you get through it???
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:55 amThat’s a badass Cheetah.
Comment by Vodka and Ground Beef September 28, 2010 @ 2:05 amEr, Halloween? Is that not end October; what if smalls grows large(r)?
Xmas carol screening… hell and handcarts folks?
dave
Comment by gallowaygrave September 28, 2010 @ 5:14 amI’m so going to see if “hell and handcarts” is already being used somewhere as a blog name. Thanks GG! 🙂 Oh, and I left a little room in the costume. Although, she’ll probably do what she did last year and change her mind halfway through the month anyway.
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:56 amThe h+h title seems to be free, according to goggle anyway. And if smalls changes her mind, get peeved, the outfit is superb!
Comment by gallowaygrave September 28, 2010 @ 10:07 amKept meaning to visit after Maura recommended your blog and finally found my way! Am I glad I did! Rather scary to be confronted by such huge talent – not only in writing, but sewing and salad-making!! And the cheetah looks altogether too edible for a carnivore :)I’m subscribed!
Comment by crazygoangirl September 28, 2010 @ 9:19 amWell, thanks for coming by. Glad to have you! She is delicious, isn’t she? I just keep hugging her and purring. 🙂
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:57 amCheetahs probably eat rabbits. Maybe you could be a rabbit. Or a bunny. Me, I think I’ll wear the same executioners mask I wore last year. That was pretty easy.
Comment by writerdood September 28, 2010 @ 9:28 amI may have to fall back on rabbit if the gazelle thing doesn’t work out. But, now that I’m thinking about it, wouldn’t it be cool to actually do the gazelle thing and have a big, gaping, bloody, whole in my side with a fake rib cage sticking out. 🙂
Comment by perpetuallypeeved September 28, 2010 @ 9:58 amI absolutely love the little cheetah you have in your house. And the babysittin mix. And the fact that you share these wonderful children with the internet.
Comment by Brooke September 28, 2010 @ 9:53 amPS-I get my sewing machine next week. Then it’s weeks of screwing things up until I know what I’m doing. I’m pretty stoked.
Ooh.. do you have it yet? I’ll give you sewing pointers if you give me photo pointers.. 🙂
Comment by perpetuallypeeved October 4, 2010 @ 3:50 pmThose teeth on your little Cheetah actually appear to be very sharp and uh . . . deadly. Yet cute! I’m just saying this because as a young child, the orthodontist had to file my canines way down, as they were actually fangs. Sad, huh? I could’ve made a million in the “Twilight” series. I need to find some photos. My older brother called me “Vampire”, until one moonlit night . . .
Comment by Dan McGinley September 28, 2010 @ 9:58 amha ha… photo please! 😉
Comment by perpetuallypeeved October 4, 2010 @ 3:51 pmAwesome cheetah costume!
Comment by thoughtsappear September 28, 2010 @ 1:31 pmI just had to show the Cheetah to my wife, because she made a Cheetah costume for our (now) 8-yr. old daughter a couple of Hslloweens ago. She has stuffed cheetahs everywhere, as they are her favorite animal, and sometime tomorrow I’ll find a picture and send it, cuz that’s what us parents do, right? G’night from the Quiet Corner of CT. May the Cheetahs sleep tonight!
Comment by Dan McGinley September 28, 2010 @ 9:04 pmVSFW BTW
Comment by gallowaygrave September 29, 2010 @ 2:17 amPeeves, I don’t know how you do it. I remember how I was as a teenager and I was clearly Satan’s spawn. So good luck with that.
Comment by katie o. September 28, 2010 @ 10:15 pmBut at least you can sew like a champ. That is one fine cheetah costume.
That’s a great costume, mainly because Smalls is really selling it.
Comment by Todd Pack September 29, 2010 @ 11:57 amI would suggest one key modification in the delightful giraffe costume. You have covered her hands with mitten like inhibitors. You need to make holes for the fingers and thumbs(I say thumbs, plural, in case the poor child is a clumsy ox{anther good costume} and is ALL THUMBS like my aunt suggested about me when I was six and could not hold the yarn for that stupid blanket she was making}.There are many reasons your child will need access to fingers: 1) hard to handle apples, oranges, and wholesome bran/nut goodies to trade for the sweet tooth rotting crap the other kid got, 2)you can’t pick your nose with mittens on, 3) your child won’t be able to flip a bird at the old lady who gives each kid five pennies, 4)it’s hard to light the dangerous cherry bombs you have warned your child from even looking at(be sure some kid will have an arsenal of explosives),with mittens on, and very many more things that your child will invent to do that will “frighten you” out of your wits. For next year, may I suggest an alligator costume? Yeah, and alligator costume with little congressmen dangling from its teeth.
Comment by carldagostino September 29, 2010 @ 1:57 pmFunny, Smalls didn’t mind the mittens so much as the lack of claws…
Comment by perpetuallypeeved October 4, 2010 @ 3:56 pmI think you can be a zebra; cheetas munch on them all the time. Cooking skills, sewing skills, yikes! Jealous.
Comment by izziedarling September 29, 2010 @ 5:51 pmGreat! How to make a Friggin Loon feel inadequate 😦 I do none of the above.
Comment by frigginloon September 30, 2010 @ 12:21 amI was totally impressed that you pulled off your dinner party. When I host people for dinner it goes like this: I invite them. I put out some fresh flowers. My husband makes the drinks. My husband cooks. I drink. My husband helps me clean up. 😉
Comment by Paige Morgan September 30, 2010 @ 5:26 pmThat costume is brilliant! You are so talented (I’m jealous)! and OMG regarding the CD.. your kiddo is crazy yo!
Comment by pbandchutney October 1, 2010 @ 5:03 pmMay I just say your caprese salad looks YUM!
Comment by Pop October 8, 2010 @ 12:23 pmThank you, Pop! It would pair well with grilled meat when you’re ready to invite me over! 😉
Comment by perpetuallypeeved October 8, 2010 @ 12:56 pm